On January 7, 2012 my 95 year old mother, Anna Venoie Olson Amey, died peacefully in her sleep. She’d suffered from dementia for several years but had been in good spirits up to the end.
In February, Barbara Mickler, mother of my high school friend, Wendy Mickler Grindstaff, died. She also lived her last years under the veil of dementia. Her final years, however, were riddled with anger, mostly directed toward Wendy.
During their final years, Wendy and I kept in touch and commiserated over the declines in health that our mothers were living. After having seen Emilio Esteves’s film, The Way, we joked about making the journey across Spain in pilgrimage. Eventually, our jokes became real and we decided to make the trek.
We read. We studied. And thankfully, Wendy insisted that she didn’t want to “rough it” in albergnes (hostels) and cary a pack. She eventually found a company that we engaged – Marly Camino. We made plans and eventually embarked upon a 100 KM trek along the famous Camino Frances to Santiago de Compostella.
Bob and Ernie didn’t go. They weren’t invited. We didn’t want them. It was to be our walk. Our adventure. Our pilgrimage. Each of us wanted to do this alone, with support but without the comfort and familiarity of our husbands.
We had a wonderful time. We celebrated Mother’s Day together during our trek, with our mothers in our hearts. We were proud of our accomplishment.
*****
Whenever I spoke of Spain, Bob countered with, “You know, I’ve never been to Spain!” So in 2017, it was time to get him behind the catchy song lyrics of Three Dog Night:
Well I never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it
They don’t abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can’t refuse it
Well I never been to England
But I kinda like the Beatles
Well, I headed for Las Vegas
Only made it out to Needles
Can you feel it
It must be real it
Feels so good
Oh, feels so good
Well I never been to heaven
But I been to Oklahoma
Well they tell me I was born there
But I really don’t remember
In Oklahoma, not Arizona
What does it matter
What does it matter
Well I never been to Spain
But I kinda like the music
Say the ladies are insane there
And they sure know how to use it
They don’t abuse it
Never gonna lose it
I can’t refuse it
Well I never been to heaven
But I been to Oklahoma
Well they tell me I was born there
But I really don’t remember
In Oklahoma, not Arizona
What does it matter
What does it matter
Most folks didn’t have any idea he was quoting song lyrics.
It was time to shut him up. Wendy and Ernie were ready – and so we started planning for another trip to Spain, this time with our husbands.
Marly Camino – May 15-27, 2018 – here we come!
I've Never Been to Spain 